I have an inclination to over-consider people’s needs. While this has mostly been a mutually beneficial thing, there are moments when I don’t ask for something I need because I’m concerned I’ll inconvenience them--”Why would I ask someone to help me out when they’re probably busy with their own stuff?”. Then I don’t get that small helping hand resulting in a pile of missed opportunities, including stronger relationships with the people who I wanted support from.
For example, our neighbour offered to help plow a section of lawn so we could plant a garden. I hesitated for weeks to take him up on it because I didn’t want to take up his time. Result: no garden, no veggies and fruits, all that lost joy of being surrounded by bugs, birds, and friends.
Good thing I got over that simple (although psychologically complex) block and called up our neighbour, who happily came over to help us start our garden, which we are now growing the good stuff in annnnnnnd my neighbour and I have a fantastic relationship. Whew! Plus, my ability to ask this neighbour for support and my personal boundaries with him are only getting stronger, and I stilllllll consider his needs.
It’s as if asking for help (while still considering others’ needs) makes for better relationships all around.
Do you know the feelings I’m talking about when you need someone’s help but you don’t want to bother them? Do you have tips or resources you pull on to help get over the block?
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Grow the joy